February 18, 2011

Friday Fashion Q&A: It’s the Weekend

There is a joke on the website called Stuff White People Like that you should know when a white person is not at work because they are wearing outdoor performance clothes. ( My husband thinks this is particularly funny because when he isn’t in a suit, he wears the same red technical jacket Fall through Spring.)

Which brings me to my question for the week. A work-from-home mom asked me recently what else she can wear around the house besides yoga pants. (Apparently, she is getting a little sick of her outdoor performance outfit.) My choice is a plain jane white shirt. It’s crisp, classic, and comfortable. And she can step outside of the house at a moment’s notice feeling clean and chic.

A white shirt may seem boring, but it is incredibly versatile. It goes with any pair of shoes in your closet, and you can accessorize it with a statement necklace or a scarf. It cuts across socio-economic status and age groups. College Fashion has a great post at different ways to wear a white shirt. My favorite is to pair it with a pair of capri pants or stretchy skinny jeans and ballet flats.

Bloch, Bloch, Bloch

My go-to white shirt is a fitted one by Theory that I bought five or six years ago that has a little stretch and is soft from wear. At $170, it has to be a go to piece, and it is. It is the one thing over the years that I can switch from work to non-work flawlessly.

Theory, Theory
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February 12, 2011

When Nanny Goes Away

I was nose to the grind stone last night at work, only looking away from the computer screen to check my phone and see if my husband responded to my text that I had not yet left the office. I was already feeling guilty for being late and rushed to finish an email. In my mind, I had had one foot out the door for at least an hour.

Then, the screen flashed “Come home asap.” And a few minutes later, as I was hitting send on an email, the phone rang.

“She quit. Today is her last day. She got an office job, and she starts Monday.”

Today is Friday. It is 6:00 pm.

The shock of being told your nanny just quit is akin to finding out someone had passed away. That first wave hits you, and suddenly, you feel like you are in a telephone booth, paralyzed from movement, less oxygen, everything else is blacked. The separation you feel from everything and everyone is palpable.

The second wave is anger. Why no notice? Weren’t we good to her? Didn’t we treat her with respect? Why didn’t she trust us enough to tell us what was going on – that she was looking to get out of the nanny business all together?

The third wave is regret, bargaining, and fear. Thoughts like, “I am a failure as a parent” and “What could I have done differently?” surface. A third and surprising thought is “How am I going to raise this child without her – I don’t know what I am doing”.

I remember when my step mom commented to me when Lucy was twelve weeks old that she was never that confident with her child at that age.

I am a confident person by nature. I may wear my heart on my sleeve, but whatever may frazzle me at the time (and I let other people know it) seldom – ever – rocks me at the core. So, I follow that bunny trail down the snowy path and wonder if some of my almost unnatural confidence for the last fifteen months of my child’s life didn’t depend at least in some part on an experienced nanny.

Fourth is sadness. This one didn’t hit me until I got home and saw the extra car seat in my hall. The key and credit card on the counter. Some old toys in our playroom that I had not seen in months.

Nannies develop complex relationships with each family member, particularly the mother. At best, the mother’s relationship is bound by trust and anxiety, learning and teaching, support and direction. The nanny-father relationship is also one of giving direction but subject to being overridden by the mother, and a good nanny learns how to mediate differences between the two. And, the child’s bond, of course, is something more indescribable. The toddler has unconditional trust in her nanny, and the love between the nanny and child can electrify the home in a way that both inspires confidence in – and assauges the guilt of – the working mom.

I haven’t felt truly rejected in a long time. I simply forgot what it feels like. So, maybe the strange and unfamiliar thoughts of failure on the drive home last night aren’t so strange. A person that had an intimate relationship with my immediate family – who witnessed and took some part in how we live it for the last fifteen months – has rejected all it and snuck away in the night.

And this is where a complicated relationship gets real simple. The nanny-family relationship is, in its purest form, one of at-will employment. You may not dwell on it, but you are one “I am leaving” sentence away from the end of the relationship.

Maybe it won’t hurt much the next time. Maybe it’s like when your very first boyfriend breaks up with you, and you are swept up in the melodrama of it. Or maybe like any relationship that burrows into the fabric of your daily life, it is always going to hurt when a nanny walks away. The way you come to trust and depend on a person – that you child comes to trust and depend on – for now, anyway, it feels awfully close to divorce with no closure. No trial separation, or division of assets, no mandatory waiting period, and most of all, no real explanation for it all.

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October 27, 2010

Office Mommy: Relax!

Mellow day…

These are my new $60 Perfect Pants from the Gap. Shoes by Jessica Simpson. Bought both the Tahari tank and cropped White + Warren cardi on sale on Hautelook.

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October 25, 2010

Makeup Monday: FAST Root Fix

Not surprisingly,75% of women in the United States color their hair. So, here is a tip for all of you ladies when you are in between appointments, but you need a cheap, fast root fix: Clairol Natural Instincts.

If you are a blonde, look for the lightest shade you can find in the store. (I usually use Sahara or Sunflower.) Wait until the baby is fast asleep, and apply to your roots for 5 minutes. Then, shampoo the rest in for another 5 minutes. It is an ammonia-free formula, and it’s never turned my hair orange (or anywhere close).

I got this tip back in college when the point was to save money by stretching out my highlighting sessions. When I was about 10 weeks pregnant, I did it to get by until the second trimester. (Shhhh, don’t tell Jeffrey or Megan at Five Star.) And, now that I am a mom, I do it so I can save time.

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September 20, 2010

Makeup Monday: A Glowing Report

Now that summer’s fading into fall, you have to get creative about maintaining that nice glow.  After The Self-Tanner Incident, I am off of these products until I am done nursing. So, imagine my delight when I stumbled on a product that adds a beautifully sheer bronze to the face without all of the downside: Dr. Hauschka Translucent Bronze Concentrate. It’s pricey, but a little goes a loooong way!

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June 9, 2010

Spring Summer Fashion “Haul”

There is a relatively new phenomenon in the blogging world called “fashion hauling”. Essentially, the blogger posts a video showing her fashion “haul” from her latest shopping trip. I thought the concept was kind of goofy at first, but after I saw one, I decided it was a fun concept. So, we at JHS are going to give it a whirl. Let me know what you think – and specifically, if you would like to see another one.

Here is my Spring Summer Fashion Haul and some reasons why I chose what I did when shopping for my post-baby work wardrobe.

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June 1, 2010

Maternity, Mommy, and Maybe Work… But on a Budget?

Dear JHS,

I am newly pregnant and out of a job. I am wondering how to build a maternity and new mommy wardrobe on a budget. Keep in mind that I might go back to work after the baby is born, so I need pieces that will transition.

Thanks!
Fran

Dear Fran,

First of all, congratulations! Second, to answer your question, my husband would say I have never met a shopping challenge I didn’t like. And this is a challenge.

One problem is that the maternity retailers would like you to think that you need EVERYTHING to be maternity, down to your PJs and underwear. But in reality, you can put off some of the pricier maternity options for most of the pregnancy if not altogether. Here are the easy things you can skip for now:

- underwear
- workout clothes
- pants

Another big problem is that maternity clothes are overpriced. I started shopping maternity when I was in my fourth month. I remember tracking a cute strapless summer dress I had seen in Pregnancy & Newborn magazine. Lo and behold, I stumbled on the dress at the front of the regular Gap in a festive orange color on sale for $34.99. The same exact dress in boring brown was at the back of the Baby Gap, marketed as a maternity dress, for $68.

So the lesson is to shop the cheaper maternity brands, right? Unfortunately, reasonably priced maternity clothes are both typically understyled (think Laura Ingalls calico prints) and relatively poor quality. It’s like the manufacturers know they have a limited lifespan and build them to last up to about 90% of that time. Then, they hope you start all over again on the next one.

For your situation, where you need maximum versatility, I would try to avoid traditional maternity altogether, especially for your tops. Pregnancy and new mommy ground is ripe for comfortably, soft stretchy knit tops that are easy to grab and go. Focus on v-necks if you intend to nurse, and look for empire waist and draping down the front. Here are some ideas:

These knit tops by Bailey 44 are expensive at over $100, but you only need a few good ones, and if they becomes your “go-to” top for dress up and dress down, then the cost-per-wearing is pretty is pretty low. (This brand also makes a maternity-specific line for Pea in the Pod, but you lose some post-baby versatility).

A white button down will get you a long ways. This one by Tory Burch is also a splurge, but is easy to find at a lower price point and looks great with a skinny jean.

A wrap dress is also a great option for pregnancy and post-pregnancy dress up. I wore a dark blue dress by Frenzii before, during, and after my pregnancy. Check this these cap-sleeve dresses for $32 at Overstock.com. And check out this red strapless by Frenzii – on sale for $38 at overstock.com. A crisp alternative is a shirt dress one size too big with a wide skirt that can be belted over the baby belly during the pregnancy.

When you belly finally pops, and if an when the bands aren’t doing it any more, then I would acquiesce to the maternity machine and buy one of the following:
- maternity jean leggings from Maternal America at Due Maternity
- shorts and casual tanks from Liz Lange maternity at Target

- black knit a-line skirt by Isabella Oliver which you can easily wear post baby, dressed up or down; some are also huge fans of Noppies
- black pants by Olian

To save money on these nicer and pricier pieces, I would shop ebay, especially for maternity jeans, and hold off for a sale on the rest. Belly Dance Maternity, Nordstrom, and Isabella Oliver have great selections and put pieces on sale all of the time.

Here are a few more tips:
- If you want to maximize use, and you work in a more conservative field, then stick with more tailored pieces and avoid overly girl designs like ruffle tanks
- Buy solid colors instead of prints and limit your color palette to a few colors that mix and match easily
- Buy a season ahead so you can get the end of the season sale price; for example, I bought a fall coat at the end of the spring for half off
- Stick with the workout and eat healthy so you have a better chance of not overgaining weight and needing an entirely new wardrobe in three months. But just in case, do not buy a lot at any given time since you never know!
- Save your splurges for accessories, like scarves that can also act like forgiving belts, earrings, and the oh-so-cool diaper bags that look like handbags so you can get a two-fer

Ladies, any more tips for Fran? Leave them in the comments…

Yours,
JHS

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April 20, 2010

Maternity Style: Full Sale Ahead

Maternity clothes can be expensive, especially considering they last about two seconds.  And if you work in an office environment, you have to invest even more.  The key is to start early in the pregnancy and buy well ahead of time.

I found out I was pregnant at the end of February, so the websites were just putting Fall and Winter merchandise on sale.  So I went ahead and bought a coat and maternity suit at almost half off.  I knew I wouldn’t need them until Fall of the next year, but by then I wouldn’t be able to get in my regular coat.  And because I bought the suit early, I was able to wear it almost the entire pregnancy.

The other trick is to watch the sale cycle for the store or brand you like and hold off major buying sprees until then.  One way to do this is to get to know the sales staff really well.  They might tell you if you ask when the next sale will be taking place.  Another way is to google the online store name and “sale” to see what dates it occurred last year.  For example, I google Isabella Oliver and “sale”, and it turns out, their end of season sale for summer was June 22nd.

Happy sale-ing!

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April 13, 2010

Maternity to Post-Baby: It’s all about Jersey (And Not the Shore!)

Jersey was my friend when I was pregnant.  And despite the illusion that the pounds would fall off just by nursing (put in my head by too pregnant celebrities), it has remained my friend post-baby.  And I’m not talking about Jersey Shore.  I am talking about the fabric.

When I googled Jersey, I found this in Wikipedia:  In 1916 Gabrielle “Coco” Chanel outraged the fashion industry by using jersey at a time when it was strictly associated with underwear.

Despite its shaky start, Jersey is a great fabric knit because it drapes beautifully (to hide belly bloat – hello!) and with a little added Spandex/Lycra/Elastane, it will grow or shrink when you do.  By contrast, 100% cotton tends to wrinkle, not hold its shape, fade, and shrink.  So avoid 100% cotton for maternity and look at labels for Rayon, Spandex, Lycra, Elastane, Polyester, or a cotton/Poly blend instead.

Maternity brands that use high-quality fabrics for pre- and post-pregnancy include Olian, Maternal America, Japanese Weekend, and Isabella Oliver.

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November 23, 2009

Maternity Style-Labor Looks

I spent hours packing for the hospital and organizing gear, and my husband practically had to hire a sherpa to get all of our bags into the birthing room. Part of my packing problem is I couldn’t make up my mind what to wear in the hospital. So, to save you the time (and space), here are some recommendations for laboring in style.

First, consider active or technical wear for early labor. Choose tops and bottoms that are stretchy lycra, moisture wicking and soft fabrics. Alternatively, you might consider dedicated “birthwear”, designed for your comfort and accommodates medical equipment. BINSI offers a skirt and tops that I strongly considered, but alas, they were out of stock when L-day closed in.

And there is the hospital gown, although now they come in cute prints. Check out Gownies at www.busymommi.com. Especially if you are going to have someone document your labor, I highly recommend it.

Also, be prepared that you may not care towards the end what you are wearing. So plan ahead and communicate it to your significant other so they can help you deliver – in style!

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